Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Grr for gender pronouns.

I have issues with gender pronouns. I don't particularly like gender neutral, but I positively HATE gender male. I am quite disgruntled over the continuous "bud," "kid," "man," and "dude" that I get. I am most definitely not a "dude," nor a "kid," and the continuous barrage of references to maleness and childishness cause me to continuously question whether or not my complete lack of romantic prospects this semester might have some other root cause than the continuous load of work that I have creeping over my shoulder.

I do realize that I'm not boobalicious and my previously stated workload has caused me to be seen in more casual attire than at previous times in my life, but that really doesn't help me come to an understanding. Last time I checked, wearing jeans all the time does not make me a man. And, while I can see a certain type of person being confused when switching from my formal name to a pronoun (You're Shane like Shane West? -Yeah, only not a man), I would think that most Columbia students could wrap their minds around that.

I would almost prefer some sort of saccharine baby-doll nickname to "dude." Babe works (but only because Ranger uses it), although I don't know if I can swallow "cutie pie" or "baby." Those drift a little too far towards the "kid" end of the spectrum. But seriously, what's wrong with a "hey beautiful" every once in a while? "Bella" is a good one too. Sweetheart is another maybe. If you are a certain person (namely Shaunacy, Hansie, Xtina) you could even get away with "bitch," "slut," or "ho," so long as it even jokingly refers to my decidedly female qualities.

When all else fails, how about just "hey you!"?

Here ends my rant, proving what a lonely hour and a half on a bike as my only escape from endless academia can do to my perception of what is important in life.

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